v2: Storm Song

Note to Readers: This is a reviewed version of a poem written yesterday for dVerse poets. I’ve altered the enjambments, thereby changing its constrained form to free-form. I think I much prefer this version, but I’d be happy to hear your thoughts. Thank you.

SeagullStorm

Storm Song

That day had an appetite
for sun shining. Wind blowing. Shadowed
light passing fields flocked with birds.
All those black harps singing. And I knew

this day was too short lasting
when St Mary’s bells spilled the air
ringing. Changes, changes. Ringing
clouds swelling into thunderous sound.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rewritten from original posted for dVerse

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10 thoughts on “v2: Storm Song

  1. I agree with you–I read both and love the flow of the free form–but that tends to be the way I see things. I’ve done similar with a sonnet and the feedback was pretty much divided. I think how it’s perceived has much to do with the reader’s personal preference. But both are quite beautiful, Misky.

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